Façade is a very interesting game, where you talk to a
couple in their apartment about various things from the point of view as on old
friend of the two, and focus of their strenuous relationship.
It's great, and can be
played in several ways. At some points its obvious to see that their is some
forced linearity as part of the drama and story telling, but for the most part
it plays quite well.
Here's my surprisingly
successful stageplay that manages to keep them together, despite my attempt at
generally making no sense half the time, and the other half being insulting.
(COLOUR CODED FOR CLARITY)
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Mon Jun 17 18 47 37 2013
GRACE
Trip, when are you going to
get rid of this?
(Tammy knocks on the front door.)
(Tammy knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Uhp, she's here!
GRACE
What?! You said she's
coming an hour from now!
TRIP
No, she's supposed to be
here now!
TAMMY
wait
GRACE
Trip...!
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
Tammy!!
TRIP
Hey! God
it's been so long since we've seen you! -- (interrupted)
TAMMY
I THOUGHT TAMMY IS A MAN'S NAME
TRIP
Uh...
TRIP
Well come on in...
TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
TAMMY
YOU BOOB!
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
(TAMMY knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
(TAMMY points to the wedding gown sketch.)
GRACE
Tammy,
(TAMMY uses the answering machine.)
ANSWERING MACHINE
No new messages
GRACE
Hi! How are you?
Oh god it's been such a long time!
TRIP
Yeah, yeah, how are you
doing?
GRACE
Uh, I just asked her
that...
TRIP
Well, I can ask her too!
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TAMMY
I JUST LOST MY JOB
GRACE
Uh...
GRACE
Well, come in, make
yourself at home...
TRIP
Whoops, I need to go
close the door.
TRIP
Heh heh, Tammy, seeing you brings back good memories,
you know?
(Trip closes the front door.)
GRACE
Yes, it does.
H-mmm -- (interrupted)
TAMMY
Does it really?
TRIP
Yeah, uh, we -- we've --
uh, we've missed you.
TRIP
Hey, I just realized
something.
GRACE
What...
TRIP
Oh, tonight's a special
night! A celebration in fact!
GRACE
What do you mean?
TRIP
Tammy, remember, it was
almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.
TRIP
Senior year of college!
GRACE
Oh... geez...
TRIP
Remember that?
TAMMY
Sort of!
TRIP
Um, well, without you,
we wouldn't even have this celebration.
TRIP
Oh, Tammy, take a look at this photo I just put up
from our trip to Italy a couple of
weeks ago...
GRACE
(little sigh)
TRIP
Tammy, Come here, I
want you to look at this!
GRACE
(little sigh)
TAMMY
What are these pictures?
(TAMMY points to the wedding gown sketch 4.)
(TAMMY points to the wedding gown sketch 4.)
TRIP
Oh, you'll never guess
where I took that picture.
GRACE
Is this really something
you want -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Oh yeah, let me
tell you about work. I just brought in a new account - print ads for a
line of bridal fashion.
TRIP
Very big.
GRACE
I think you forgot to
mention that I'm the lead designer on this project.
TRIP
Oh it's a great, uh,
creative opportunity for Grace. Yeah.
TRIP
But anyway, I just got
back from a client meeting in Barcelona. I love European culture.
TAMMY
The dresses look LOVELY
GRACE
Yeah!
TRIP
Tammy, come on, take a
look at this picture! -- (interrupted)
GRACE
Trip, darling, your
obsession with that photo of yours is making our friend uncomfortable. --
(interrupted)
TAMMY
But it's just some silly
photo
TRIP
Oh, I didn't think you
wanted to hear about the Italy trip tonight... (clears throat)
TAMMY
I don't.
GRACE
N -- no, no, it was just
a weekend getaway.
GRACE
Yeah, I'm hoping
you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.
TRIP
Oh, Grace, let's not do that.
(TAMMY sits on the couch.)
GRACE
(little sigh) With this
room I was trying for a kind of post modern style...
(TAMMY gets up from the couch.)
(TAMMY sits on the couch.)
TRIP
Well yeah, I think that
comes across.
GRACE
but it is clearly just
not happening. This is a mess. -- (interrupted)
(TAMMY points to the big abstract painting.)
(TAMMY points to the big abstract painting.)
GRACE
Yes, yes, this
painting...
(TAMMY gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
(little sigh) This new
painting above the couch is, uh, well, a -- an experiment...
TRIP
There's nothing wrong
with it...
GRACE
but when I see it
hanging here, in this room... it looks to me like an amateur painted it.
TRIP
(little impatient sigh) Grace...!
TAMMY
You could paint a better
one
GRACE
Really?
TRIP
See, Grace, you're the only one unhappy with your
decorating.
GRACE
It just seems stupid to
pay for a painting that I could have just as easily painted myself.
TRIP
Grace, sweetheart, your
decorating is fine, okay? Besides this painting is a great investment,
I'm sure.
TAMMY
You like it Trip?
GRACE
Huh, I think I forgot
how well you two get along...
TRIP
(little sigh)
TRIP
Ah, --
(interrupted)
TAMMY
Old firen
GRACE
W -- wait, wait, what's
wrong, Trip?
GRACE
Trip, it's okay if we
disagree in front of our friend --
TRIP
Disagreeing?!
We're NOT disagreeing.
TRIP
We're not.
TRIP
You know what?
It's about time...
TRIP
I fix us some drinks!
GRACE
Pssh... I knew that was
coming, heh.
TRIP
When it comes to
drinking, I -- I generally avoid temptation heh unless I can't resist it. --
(interrupted)
TAMMY
Ha ha ha
GRACE
Look I already know how
you feel about my decorating, let's just... move on from that topic of
conversation. -- (interrupted)
TRIP
So... drinks...
TRIP
Ah I know... I'm going
to open us a magnificent, I mean, astounding Bordeaux.
TAMMY
Can we have something
simpler?
TRIP
No no I really think we
should have this wine, trust me, trust me!
TRIP
Best of the best, you
can't buy this in stores... Very, very special --
GRACE
God Trip, you're just like my dad with the whole wine
snob thing.
TRIP
I'll take that as a
compliment. Tammy, what do you say?
GRACE
Tammy, maybe you'd like
some juice, or a mineral water?
TRIP
What...?
TAMMY
Ok
GRACE
Okay! Trip, you heard her!
TRIP
No, this is a special
get-together, I want to open this wine, I'm not going to settle less!
GRACE
You seem perfectly happy
settling for less when you sneak off to that crappy little sports bar down the
street!
TRIP
What?!
GRACE
Don't think I don't know
about your secret little hangout where you watch football and drink lite beer
with lowly construction workers...
TRIP
How -- how do you -- how
do you know about that --
GRACE
If only the guys at your
high class poker games knew about that, huh?
TRIP
What -- you --
GRACE
Some habits are hard to
break I guess.
TRIP
Ahh, this is bull****!
GRACE
Ahh, no, you're full of ****!
GRACE
Your goddamn sports
bar...
GRACE
You so desperately want
to be high class! So badly!
TRIP
(little impatient sigh)
Tammy, I...
TRIP
(frustrated sigh)
TAMMY
It's because of Trip's Past
TRIP
Huh? What, what --
what was that?
GRACE
Romance... goddamn...
GRACE
Tammy,
GRACE
Are you trying to say
we've got problems? Or I've got problems, that this is all my fault from
the start? Is that what you think?
TRIP
Oh, god...!
TAMMY
I think everything
TRIP
Alright, you know what,
Tammy,
TRIP
I need to ask you something.
GRACE
Trip --
TRIP
Grace, let me ask our guest a
question.
TAMMY
No
TRIP
Tammy, yes or no...
TRIP
Isn't the goal in life,
and in marriage, to improve your life, to have more than you did before?
GRACE
What?
TRIP
I mean, shouldn't you
get married so you can have a better, richer life than before?
TAMMY
No
TRIP
What...?!
TRIP
Oh, yeah, that's fine...
that's fine...
TAMMY
Marriage is about
relationship
TRIP
Grace, you won't let me be
who I want to be! Who -- who I am! This is who I am now!
Goddammit!
GRACE
Oh, don't even...!
GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good,
get away from me!
GRACE
I can't take you
anymore!
GRACE
Goddammit!
TAMMY
Do you have a
television?
GRACE
What are you saying?
What?
TRIP
Grace, are you talking about
me?
GRACE
I'm not talking to you!
GRACE
Tammy, -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Goddammit, Grace!
TRIP
uhh! -- (interrupted)
TAMMY
Hey Trip, what's shaking?
TRIP
Tammy, this is not
normal, this has never happened.
TRIP
uhh...
GRACE
Tammy, (annoyed sigh) Trip is sometimes so...
TRIP
Oh, we're talking about
me again, are we?
GRACE
What?
TRIP
Grace, even though you're now
a creative director at work,
TRIP
the truth is...
you're not an artist.
GRACE
Uhh...!
TRIP
I'm sorry, you're not.
TAMMY
She is an artist
GRACE
Tammy, -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Aha!
GRACE
See, Tammy, all this time, I just can't stop
thinking that I should have been painting!
TRIP
Why don't you just do it
then?
TRIP
Be a goddamn artist
already. What are you afraid of, Grace?
GRACE
Well, but...
Tammy, I... I... uhh...
TAMMY
Why don't you want to
paint?
GRACE
Thanks for the
encouraging words. (frustrated -- (interrupted)
GRACE
Uhh, this painting,
well... mmm... see, all I really wanted was something personal and, uh...
beautiful and special...
TRIP
Grace...
GRACE
But I just... mmm... no,
I -- I just get so depressed and angry when I look at it!
TRIP
Jesus...!
TAMMY
Beep!
TRIP
No, look, there's
nothing wrong with the stupid painting!
GRACE
Well it makes me feel
like ****.
TRIP
Uhh... you feel that for
no reason!
GRACE
Look, let's switch the
focus to Trip.
(TAMMY picks up the advice ball.)
TRIP
See, what I've tried to
do, Tammy, is help Grace somehow get over her art problem.
(The advice ball reads,
"It's Definite")
(TAMMY puts down the advice ball.)
GRACE
My problem? You
have the problem!
GRACE
Ah, yes, just you saying
that should help him, really...
TRIP
What? Oh, Jesus...
TAMMY
Why is art a problem?
TRIP
Why?
GRACE
See, Trip, art scares you or something.
TRIP
Ah ha, ha ha ha, ha,
yeah, heh...
TRIP
No we need -- we need to
talk about us both, not just one.
GRACE
Tammy, you -- you blame
me for all this, don't you?
TAMMY
No
TRIP
See, I don't think you
really want to be an artist. -- (interrupted)
TRIP
No?
GRACE
Oh, thank God you
disagree, that really helps us!
GRACE
Okay, stop, I -- I can't
do this anymore, goddammit!
GRACE
Tammy, I know what
you're trying to hint at...
(TAMMY picks up the advice ball.)
GRACE
about us...
(The advice ball reads,
"Sure Thing")
GRACE
about art...
GRACE
Do you really want the
honest truth? Huh?
TAMMY
Go ahead
GRACE
Trip, huh?
TRIP
Yes...!
GRACE
Tammy, I've actually
been paying close attention to what you've been saying tonight.
TAMMY
No you haven;t
GRACE
You've really been
pushing me.
(TAMMY puts down the advice ball.)
(TAMMY picks up the advice ball.)
(TAMMY puts down the advice ball.)
GRACE
And I wonder, are -- are
you really my friend...?
(TAMMY picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads,
"Never")
(TAMMY puts down the advice ball.)
TRIP
Grace!
TAMMY
No
GRACE
Tammy, Stop
interrupting me, let me finish!
GRACE
Tammy, come on -- yes
or no...
GRACE
Do you really think
that...
TAMMY
Nope
GRACE
praising me...
GRACE
telling me to make
art...
GRACE
No, Tammy, let me finish!
GRACE
and what you said about
hiding things from your spouse...
GRACE
that all that is
supposed to help us realize something about us?
GRACE
Is what you've said
tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something?
TAMMY
Nope
GRACE
No? Oh, well...
I'm surprised you say that, I thought it did.
GRACE
Trip, I --
GRACE
I let you stop me from
being an artist.
TRIP
You let me --
GRACE
I was afraid, Trip okay?
TAMMY
Are you going to break
up yet?
GRACE
I -- I admit it.
GRACE
I didn't know if -- if I
could do it, be a real artist...
GRACE
And I've been using you
as an excuse for why I didn't do it.
(TAMMY comforts grace.)
(TAMMY comforts grace.)
GRACE
uhh...
(TAMMY comforts grace.)
TRIP
uhh...
(TAMMY comforts grace.)
(TAMMY comforts grace.)
TRIP
Jesus...!
GRACE
Tammy, I --
TRIP
I'm going to give you
the truth too, Grace.
GRACE
What?!
TRIP
Grace, I know you want to be
an artist.
TRIP
But I could never be
married to you if you were.
GRACE
What?
TAMMY
This isn't good
TRIP
I can't... I -- I just
can't...
GRACE
But Trip --
TRIP
When I married you, see,
I was sure I could convince you to give it up, to -- to go into advertising.
GRACE
Uhh...
TRIP
And -- and I did it, and
it worked.
TRIP
But now... I -- I don't
know, Grace...
TRIP
(big sigh) I don't
know...
TAMMY
You should do what you
want.
GRACE
uhh...
GRACE
Oh my God...!
GRACE
Okay, Tammy, Trip, I have one more thing to say...
TRIP
Again?!
GRACE
I painted this.
TRIP
Bull****.
GRACE
I am an artist, Trip, **** you.
TRIP
You've been secretly
painting? When --
GRACE
Everytime you go on a
goddamn business trip, I paint.
GRACE
So don't EVER give me
any more of your 'you could never be an artist' crap!!
TRIP
Jesus --
GRACE
uhh...
TAMMY
Oh sick burns
TRIP
uhh...
TRIP
Jesus...!
TAMMY
Trip, WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT
ART?
TRIP
This changes
everything...
GRACE
Yeah.
TRIP
And no, Tammy, please...
GRACE
You finally admitted it
-- you just don't want me to be an artist...
TRIP
You... you really have
to be an artist...
TRIP
I prevented you from
being an artist...
GRACE
No, I -- I let you do
it...
TRIP
Tammy, I --
GRACE
Tammy, we...
TAMMY
You are terrible people.
TRIP
Look, we -- we need to
talk...
GRACE
Yeah.
TRIP
And no, Tammy, enough!
TRIP
Tammy, Thanks for
coming over, you... I think you helped us.
(Trip opens the front door.)
TAMMY
Bye
(TAMMY comforts trip.)
GRACE
Bye. Thanks.
(Trip closes the front door.)